My phone is full of half written blogs, started during nap times and forgotten as soon a little b wakes up. Or more often then not forgotten as I gaze on her beautiful little sleeping face. Forgotten, like most things these days... In part due to baby brain; does anyone else have this? I just don't seem to remember anything anymore. Maybe it's unconsciously selective; dull (but unfortunately sometimes important) memories being pushed aside for those wonderful golden memories of little b as she grows.
The concept of time for me is something that changed once little B was born, it went from me really, now I realise, doing what I liked when I liked to me giving my time almost exclusively to her. Yes, now my time exists for little b. This was something I found took my a while to adjust to; 6 weeks of maternity leave and 28 years of doing what I pleased made it tricky for me to suddenly devote myself entirely to another little being. Suddenly my waking (and sleeping!!) hours belonged to another. But I very quickly realised how lucky and blessed I am that they do, how lucky I am to be able to give my time to her... I know Papa b would jump at the chance.
Some might say but what about me time?! For me it's simple, I chose to bring her into the world. I chose to be a mama and now I chose to give my time to her. But more than that, for me, this time is me time, little b is my me time. What can be more wonderful than playing with my little girl; ok the odd lie in might be nice but looking at her little face as she offers me a toy, hearing her giggle as she plays, cuddling her to me as she sits on my lap for her favourite story, for me that trumps any and every lie in!
And what of the housework? The chores? In the early days I ran myself ragged trying to do as many as I could, popping little b in her chair to clean until I realised something... time flies, time is precious and this time with little b is too precious to miss! Every day she grows up a little more and every day needs me a little less. So now I clean when I can, enough to be safe for her but not obsessively. Cobwebs will always be there, little b needing me will not. Until then my time is for little b, cobwebs be damned...
So for me, I chose quick showers, less makeup (if any!), less sleep, less tv, less chores because I chose to give my time to little b; time that is precious and wonderful. So, sorry but blog time is over - little b and I need to play! ;)
Love Mama Amore Xxx